"What"

What is a bad word
does not tell you why or how
nor who when or where

An English language assignment

Alliterations and (made-up) collective nouns. Please help!

A  - anthems of apathy

B  - bastions of bastardy, babble of bitches

C  -coils of confusion

D  - dregs of drudgery

E  - excess of emotion

F  - flights of fancy

G  - gaggle of geese

H  - hints of happiness

I  -

J  - jumps of joy

K  -

L  - lots of love

M  - minutiae of mundanity, mediocrity of the mundane

N  -

O  -

P  -

Q  -

R  -

S  -sacks of sorrow

T  - tales of torture, tales of torment

U  -

V  -

W  -

X  -

Y  -

Z  -

How do I not love thee

how do I not love thee?
let's not bother counting the ways
my mind can't think of sense or rhyme
to show the depth and breadth and height
of how I don't love thee

But if truth be told and heart unlocked
I love thee
I love thee
I love thee

_________________________________________
*Inspired by

XLIII. "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..." by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace. I love thee to the level of everyday's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with a passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

How many "This is the last time.."-s do you you need before you stop fooling yourself and actually move on?

A dreamland haiku

Smile and walk with me
Hold hands in the sunlit street
Part when roused from sleep

Keep Calm

Photo credit: www.presentermedia.com

Free! Iwatobi Swim Club

I thought I'd try my hand at those Keep Calm posters!

I got the photo at the bottom right from glogster.com

teeheehehee.

Who am I?

No, really. Who am I?

I've tried answering this but no easy answer comes. I am all the things that I have experienced. All the people I have loved and who have loved me. All the densely packed cells, molecules and atoms, and all the infinite space within.

Who I am changes with every letter I type in this post, every second that passes, every cell that dies, every electron that spins on its orbit.

Who I am now means that there was a me then, and a me in the future. And this me now who is no longer, but was the me of the future.

When the now is so encompassing that a blink can be eternity and every breath could be infinite, who I was and who I will be fade into insignificance compared to the peace of being now.

When the now is so fleeting that a blink can be death and every breath could be final, who I was and who I will be fuses to the me now who lives with the demands of being now.

In that moment when I of past, present, and future become one, every experience flashes by in confusion, all love and hurt are one, subatomic particles fall out of sync and crash into each other, the universe expands and contracts, a supernova. Until all I see is light.

And I am light.

that awkward moment

when you realize you're the one who can't move on

FML

DIY: Letting go (An outdoor activity)

Imagine one of those fluffy grass seeds that were so common those lazy summers of our childhood in Manila. Or maybe an individual dandelion puff.

Picture one in the center of your palm. Don't close your fist. Hold your palm flat or slightly curved. Cradle that seed.

Close your eyes. Remember all the things that you want to let go. Or focus on only one. A person. Of course, it's always a  person. Think of all the things about him that make you hold on to him. Let them flash in your mind one-by-one. Laugh if you feel like it. Cry if you need to. Make sure that you include every detail.

Now, try to push all these thoughts and memories into the seed cupped in your palm. You still have that seed don't you? If you've crushed it or forgotten about it, go back to the first paragraph.

Infuse that seed with everything that you want to let go. The weight of the years and the intensity of your feelings might make you think that the seed can't hold it all in, but it will. Trust me.

When you are sure that you have cleaned out your mind very well, and have not kept a secret stash of memories somewhere else, say your goodbyes. Say it because you need closure. Say all you need to say, all that you have kept inside for so long. The words need to go as well. The seed has more than enough room.

When all this is done, you are ready.

Hold your hand completely flat and blow on the seed. Watch it fly away, rising into the air.

Turn away before it descends. You don't need to know where it goes or where it lands.

You have let it go and it is no longer yours.

You have let him go and he is no longer yours

Feel the depth of emptiness. Don't worry about it. You will soon fill it up with other memories.

The things I thought about when I learned I was dying

Do I tell? Who do I tell first?

Of course my family. But which of my friends? At work? Will they treat me differently? Do I want to be treated differently? Can I trust them not to treat me differently? Can I trust them to not show any pity? Maybe I shouldn't say anything? Just live my life as normally as possible? Maybe they'd want to spend more of their time with me since I have so little time left? Should I pull back?

Do I start doing all the things I wanted to do? Try the crazy things and get the adrenaline rush? Or do I enjoy the quiet times and realize that the best things are in the little moments?

Do I go to all the places I planned to visit? Travel the world while I'm still able? Or do I stay where I am and find that there is an entire universe in my neighborhood?

And what about ? Should I let him go? I could be so selfless and tell him he deserves someone so much better, someone who could give him forever? But wouldn't he see that as selfishness on my part? What if he wants to spend the rest of my life with me. Would it be right for me to make the choice for him? 

Or maybe I could be selfish and keep him by side as much as I can. Squeeze a lifetime together in the months I have left?

Oh my God, I have so little time and I have to make the best of it. But I don't know what is the best.

on the mystery of life

I  hold life so cheaply that it causes me amazement that those who have so much less than me cling to life so tenaciously.

Have they found an elixir to make everything seem so golden? A poison to make you love and enjoy, even as life slowly kills you?

Or maybe that's the beauty of life that I seem to have missed.