well...
I sometimes cringe at my memories of the past months...sometimes I smile and wonder where I ever got the verve to do the things I've done...but it all boils down to this:
I went all in on a bad beat and lost...what did I expect?
I think it's stupid to say goodbye when we were never together...I think it's stupid to still be hoping...I think I have been foolish for far too long now...dreams are great but only to a certain extent...while I have always let myself dream and wish, I also know that I'm losing too much of myself this time...I'm not ready to let go of the bits and pieces of me still remaining...
Now, all that's left to do is gather the rest of me and step back into reality...it's going to be a big step, with a heavy heart, a tired heart...smiles that are often forced...eyes that so easily cry...the voice inside my head always saying, shouting even "where are you chino? how are you doing?"
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