This morning's conversation made me realize how much I'm willing to do for you. Well, ok, I already knew it before, but this morning just really drove it home. I'm a slave for you, without Britney's sass.
This makes me kind of sad because you don't seem to appreciate it. Ok, correction, because you don't appreciate it the way I want you to. You know, appreciate it and me like that. Like me like that. Love me like that.
Because I think I already love you like that.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Monday, November 07, 2011
3 haikus
I think I should choose
you and I or him and me
I'm fooling myself
what's the point, I ask
it's just illusion at best
only in my mind
keeps me up at night
the itch I will never scratch
shit! I have to choose.
you and I or him and me
I'm fooling myself
what's the point, I ask
it's just illusion at best
only in my mind
keeps me up at night
the itch I will never scratch
shit! I have to choose.
petty things
sometimes the worst thing is waiting
sometimes the worst thing is knowing what you want but knowing you can't get it
sometimes the worst thing is being unsure
but i have never been through anything where the worst thing was failing
because more often than not, the run-up to the failure was worth it
sometimes the worst thing is knowing what you want but knowing you can't get it
sometimes the worst thing is being unsure
but i have never been through anything where the worst thing was failing
because more often than not, the run-up to the failure was worth it
Friday, November 04, 2011
Where did I read or hear this?!
"I do not have enough middle fingers to show you how much I want you to fuck off."
Hmmm...I'm not even sure if it is accurate.
Hmmm...I'm not even sure if it is accurate.
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Not this time
I'm tired of making excuses for you. All those times you didn't respond, I figured, hey, you must be busy. Nevermind that people usually check their messages at the end of the day, right? Or, the next day? But c'mon, sunday afternoon on a long weekend? Nobody's that busy! Did you do a no-technology thing? Ok, that might explain this weekend, but I highly doubt it. You sleep with your phone. And what about all those other times?
So, anyway, you had the gall to make me feel guilty with tears and sobs and all that. What about this time? What about you?
Just remember, I wasn't the one who let go.
So, anyway, you had the gall to make me feel guilty with tears and sobs and all that. What about this time? What about you?
Just remember, I wasn't the one who let go.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
dreaded friend zone
So I have this friend I friend-zoned years ago. The thing is I want to try to get him out of there. How will I do that?
Another thing, he's never tried to get out of the friend zone. I mean I don't think he has made any attempt to be more than friends with me.
Would it be smart to do something about it? What if he doesn't want to get out of friend zone?
Another thing, he's never tried to get out of the friend zone. I mean I don't think he has made any attempt to be more than friends with me.
Would it be smart to do something about it? What if he doesn't want to get out of friend zone?
Saturday, October 29, 2011
What scares me?
it scares me that we are okay together. no extreme highs and lows. just a stable pace. not monotonous. feels like we can go on for days and days and reach forever. that kind of ok.
it scares me that i get nervous around you sometimes and my brain fogs up and i don't see or hear or think.
it scares me that when i look at you i can see us together, with kids, damn it!, being the perfect middle class suburban family.
it scares me that i get this feeling that i can totally lose myself in you. and it scares me that i'm not sure if i can come out the other side, still me or better or lost. and despite this uncertainty, it scares me that i'm willing to try anyway.
it scares me how i keep pushing you away because i'm scared, and it scares me how you keep coming back.
it scares me how comfortable we are with each other. it scares me how after several days apart, we can pick up our conversation as if only moments have passed.
it scares me how you're always there for me, even on my worst days. with your caring, your understanding, your humor.
it scares me that you understand me so well and know when to call me out and when to indulge me.
it scares me that you might know me better than i do myself. and it scares me that knowing all these, you still want to be with me.
it scares me how warm you feel to me when i touch you. like you're the only real person around me. it scares me that i feel so safe when i'm with you.
it scares me how much i want to be within the cradle of your arms at night. it scares me that when you kiss me i never want you to stop.
it scares me that it's probably going to be easy between us. it scares me that we might be perfect for each other.
it scares me that i might wrong about everything about us. it scares me that there is an "us".
and it scares me because i think i love you. and it scares me more because i think you love me back.
it scares me that i get nervous around you sometimes and my brain fogs up and i don't see or hear or think.
it scares me that when i look at you i can see us together, with kids, damn it!, being the perfect middle class suburban family.
it scares me that i get this feeling that i can totally lose myself in you. and it scares me that i'm not sure if i can come out the other side, still me or better or lost. and despite this uncertainty, it scares me that i'm willing to try anyway.
it scares me how i keep pushing you away because i'm scared, and it scares me how you keep coming back.
it scares me how comfortable we are with each other. it scares me how after several days apart, we can pick up our conversation as if only moments have passed.
it scares me how you're always there for me, even on my worst days. with your caring, your understanding, your humor.
it scares me that you understand me so well and know when to call me out and when to indulge me.
it scares me that you might know me better than i do myself. and it scares me that knowing all these, you still want to be with me.
it scares me how warm you feel to me when i touch you. like you're the only real person around me. it scares me that i feel so safe when i'm with you.
it scares me how much i want to be within the cradle of your arms at night. it scares me that when you kiss me i never want you to stop.
it scares me that it's probably going to be easy between us. it scares me that we might be perfect for each other.
it scares me that i might wrong about everything about us. it scares me that there is an "us".
and it scares me because i think i love you. and it scares me more because i think you love me back.
Friday, October 28, 2011
does a haiku really need a title?
packed packed packed packed packed
still no visa no visa
damn damn damn damn damn
still no visa no visa
damn damn damn damn damn
Thursday, October 27, 2011
To You
You'll continue sending me random texts throughout the day even though we're talking via YM. I'll continue sending you virtual hugs and kisses and rolling eyes and applause and whatever ym emoticon I'm in the mood to send you.
Thanks for the conversation today. You always soothe me.
Thanks for the conversation today. You always soothe me.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Does a haiku need a title?
still waiting in vain
wish i could catch a snowflake
but no, it's hot here
wish i could catch a snowflake
but no, it's hot here
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