mukha kang gandang-ganda sa sarili mo

So, I think I have just received the worst "compliment" of my life and it has been making me feel like crap the past few days.

It's also made me realize that I still have a long way to go with my zen, even though I've applied understanding and compartmentalization.

But anyway, it's a new week so I'm just putting it out there. Hopefully, the wind would do a better  job of blowing it away from my mind, or the universe would just swallow it up, or something.

Clarity and serenity to you.

I don't need all the love in the world, I just need yours.

The beauty of saying "NO"

In hindsight.


It was raining that night. That night, like many others before it, when we had dinner with friends and talked about life in general, complained about work, and bemoaned our love lives. You were on  your way to recovery after a bad breakup. I was in between dates. You offered to drive me home, since my car was coded and I opted to commute instead of waking up early.

"C'mon, I'd drive you home." Such a simple statement from you to me. Said countless times in various contexts. In Filipino (the way you said it) evoked care and concern and all the chivalry of courting -- "All done? Hatid na kita sa bahay."

It evoked intimacy. The kind that we've danced around but never acknowledged during all the time we spent together. We knew what this was leading to. It wasn't a simple drive home. That drive home would be the turning point in our relationship. From friends to more. It would  have been like settling into the relationship simply by default.

Yet, something in me didn't want that. All the time I'd known you, you were in this relationship. We had moments that never became more simply because I refused to make you that guy who cheated on his girlfriend. And I wasn't that girl anymore. You never made overt moves. I never encouraged you. But we knew that something was there between us. And I didn't want that then.

There you were without a girlfriend and there's that something between us. And you offered to drive me home. And I didn't want that then.

"No, thank you."

It was a simple statement between us. It was me saying "No" to all you were offering. Saying "No" to all the possibilities that could be us. Saying "No" to you.

Have I ever regretted that? No. (There's that beautiful word again)

I've idly wondered what it could have been like with you. But it's not some "go-back-in-the-past-and-change-it" moment. It was the right decision for both of us.

Because if I had said yes, you wouldn't have met the love of your life now. :)

But that's another story.
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 By the way, I'm expecting an engagement announcement from you guys soon. Happy anniversary!

Baguio Country Club

Overcast two-day stay at the Baguio Country Club. It was for work but it wasn't so stressful and I got some much deserved (lagi naman) R&R.

Little nook over our seminar venue

View from our bedroom window. It's so peaceful, isn't it?

Facade at dusk

Pictures were taken with my camphone so there aren't as high-def as I would like, but you get the idea.

Acuatico

So the family went to Acuatico for the weekend. Place was great and the staff were great. The food was a bit so-so but then again, I'm on a diet. Hehehe.

At that time, the place was fully booked, but you wouldn't feel it. the cottages were grouped around the infinity pool and it was quite private.

Even fully booked, the pool was never more than a third full, it was that big! I realized I don't have pictures of the beach, but it was good too. Sand wasn't really powdery, but it wasn't rocky either. And it didn't have seaweeds. :)

Loungers were generously placed around the pool and on the beach.

I could definitely come back here!

what to do when someone, whose opinion you have always valued, doesn't even make the effort to clear a few minutes to listen to you?

Letting go is easier than one expects, when one doesn't have a choice.

Caramoan

For the Holy Week long weekend, G invited me to join her church group for a 3,000 peso-challenge vacation in Caramoan. Kuya Mark arranged everything for us and I just had to appear at the designated meeting place. Nice, right!

For those geographically challenged like me, here's the wiki link on Caramoan.

We left on wednesday night and arrived at about lunchtime on Thursday, after a butt-numbing van ride through the night. (There were 14 of us and no hope of getting bus tickets with the Holy Week crush.) Then a 2-hour boat ride (also butt-numbing since you had to sit on a very narrow bench with little leg room). Then a trike ride until we reached Paniman where we rented a house (Kuya Ramil! He's famous). Kuya Ramil's wife also prepared our food for us including packed lunch for island hopping.

After some freshening up, we went straight for the short trip island hopping. Then the long-trip island hopping on Good Friday where after swimming and rolling in sand, we also played capture-the-tail(?) and patintero. Just before sunset, we went to the cave where Survivor holds some of its council meetings. We were not prepared because though some  of us had portable lights, we left them at the house. Sayang. hahaha.

Then, for dinner we had  Kuya Rico's surprise(?) birthday celebration -- with pansit, cake, and ice cream. We also played pinoy henyo, I lost because I couldn't guess "Bam Aquino". Nyak.

We left on Saturday and got back at around 12 midnight.

My left side was totally sunburned (because of the boat rides while island hopping) but I made lots of new friends!

I was a bit lazy and too preoccupied to take pictures. Here are some of them.

And hey, we exceeded the 3000 pesos budget by (drum roll please) 180 pesos. Hahahah! Great fun. I hope they invite me next time. :)

she shrugged because that was what one did when one had her heart broken

Paper Quilling: Christmas Decorations

Way delayed post and out-of season. LOL! I know Easter just passed, but here are some christmas decorations made through paper quilling!

Paper quilled pictures

Paper quilled snowmen

Quilled christmas tree

All courtesy of my creative sister! 

Oh hello there.

I haven't been posting lately because, well, because I've been busy and I haven't had any drama lately. Whew what a relief!

So what have I been up to?

Well, I'm now up to date with Naruto manga and anime. Yay!

I'm reading more -- trashy and non-trashy novels. :) I've had my head up in the clouds or immersed in a novel lately.

I have a secret undertaking which, for now, must remain secret.

I've come to terms with the longest heartbreak I've been nursing and decided that I can still be friends with him...because he has no idea he's broken my heart. Of course, this is still subject to evaluation.

To take my mind off things, I've enrolled in a MOOC. hahaha. Massive online open course. I love it though it eats a lot of my time.

Generally, I've been peaceful like I've never been peaceful before.

I'm hoping to get the writing juices flowing but I really have no idea of a story or even a small bit of dialogue that's begging to be written.

Oh, I got a haircut. Yeah I got a haircut.

Work's still good.

And sometimes, sometimes I think I can go on like this forever.

If this isn't peace and serenity, I don't know what is.

"not all who wander are lost"

--- yep, some of them are running away.