Blast from the Past 3

Since I already started down the road, here are my write-ups from college:

"Doodie is not perfect. She makes you laugh when you're all set to being depressed.  She eggs you on when you're getting angry.  She laughs at you when you humiliate yourself.  She ignores you when you desperately need her attention.  She's never there for you.  She's lazy and tardy and selfish and conceited and a stuck-up snob. She never listens when you're talking.  She looks through you, not at you.  She'll eat all your food when you're not looking.  She'll kick you if you do or say something to irritate her.  She'll stick her tongue out at you when you're in the middle of a really tough recitation.  She's irresponsible and utterly undependable.  She'll take advantage of you if you're not careful.  Her smile is always the most angelic when she's done something particularly devious.  Her eyes start twinkling when she's going to be mean.  She's happiest when she has completely ruined somebody's day.  She isn't really someone you want to be friends with.  She doesn't have a single redeeming quality...Uh, I guess there are some things.  She loves me even though I'm a compulsive liar.  The way I see it, that makes her as close to perfect as a person can hope to get."

 And from law school:

"Sometime in September of her last year in law school, Doodie, the penultimate guru of real-world love claimed that she is now ready to plunge into the abyss of the complicated exclusive inter-human affair commonly referred to as requited love. [Read as: SHE NOW WANTS TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND!] While admittedly the logical step in her well underway trek towards self-actualization, one cannot help but ask the question: Is there a man worthy of Doodie's crazy brand of cool?  Can a man keep up with her ultra-positive 'I just might survive the end of the world' outlook?  With her recurring spur of the moment 'there's a beat in my head and I couldn't care less who's looking' jiggle and her 30-second melancholies, can someone actually measure up?  While Doodie has enchanted many with her 'I can live ten lifetimes but I will never get that out of my head' smile and her constant need to be scratched (in the back), Mr. Right has yet to come along.  Meanwhile, she has the company of her family and friends who are ever so thankful for their daily dose of Doodie's 3 parts sexy, 4 parts crazy and 3 parts sugar and spice."

Nyek!