Denial

escape
into the refuge of my sleep
i ran from you
swept
along the darkness of my mind
i cried for you
lost against the grasping of her hands
i fought for you
adrift
in the turmoil of my dreams
i searched for you
cursed
to live a life alone
i longed for you
pain
of my illusions shattered
i loved  you
awake
only to memories of you
i still love  you

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Journal entry dated January 28, 1999 - for J, who never looked back