I get 3 missed calls from you.

I call you back, you don't pick up.

I text you "Why?"

No reply.

What was that?

(-__-)

For Twilight Fans

An excerpt of a conversation between Zach Barrows and Nathaniel Cade (The President's Vampire) in Blood Oath by Christopher Farnsworth.
_____________________________________

"I thought vampires were all sex gods with the ladies."

Cade looked at him. "What gave you that idea?"

"Uh...late-night TV, mostly..."

"Humans are our food. Do you want to have sex with a cow?"

_____________________________________

That should clarify stuff right up.

Because I can

Source: None via melissa on Pinterest

For my stop-gap boy

I'm just glad you don't read my blog. But here's something I've been trying to say

"I can’t love you because I’m scared. Because I’ve been broken hearted and I know the pain of losing something I love all too well. I don’t have another heartbreak in me, and sometimes when I look at you I imagine myself as a younger girl and I know I would have ridden into the sunset with you, had you asked, even if you were entirely wrong for me. I can’t love you because I’m so tired of love; its commitments and risks. I can’t love you because I don’t know if you’re worth the commitment or the risk and I’m not willing to find out the hard way, although I sincerely hope that one day I will be. I can’t love you because I don’t want to, and sometimes I’m afraid that makes me a bad person."

Read it in full here.

I have

this sinking feeling that I might be a mundane.

So I've accepted that I'm not Nephilim, but being a Downworlder would have been nice.

Waiting for Books 2 and 3 of the Infernal Devices Series, and Books 5 and 6 of the Mortal Instruments Series.

But it really feels like

a rainy day with hot chocolate, a good book, favorite jammies and bed

lying on the grass watching white fluffy clouds drift across the blue sky

being on the swing as high as you can go

maybe

liberation

a beginning

It should feel like

broken cinders and shattered glass

wanting to say what you need to hear but not finding the right words to hide what I feel

wanting you to stay while I go

no

goodbye for the last time

the end

Me too!

Source: weheartit.com via Rachel on Pinterest

zombie ramblings

So, my derma is having me try a new combo of meds to manage my severe reaction to change in temperature, and frankly, I feel like sleeping. Yes, I haven't met an antihistamine that doesn't knock me out, even those that claim to keep you alert.

Anyway, I'm less red now, though I'm still somewhat itchy (actually, it's a lot of tiny tiny painful spots that my brain interprets as itch, according to my derma). And at least, my eyelids don't get swollen like my sister's does.

Yes, the sensitive skin runs in the family. My second ate is the same at me, we both get red and itchy in the face. My first ate and the younger brother get rashes and bumps on their arms, but they are both triggered by extreme heat/dust etc. My younger brother also has allergic rhinitis (correct spelling?), the same as my older brother. Yes, we are a family of asthmatics. My dad has skin asthma, so I'm a risk for that too. We've all outgrown our bronchial asthma, but derma is observing if we will develop skin asthma too.

On the one hand, when I was growing up, I missed a lot of school and my mom let me decide if I will go to school or not, even back in grade school. Well, I took a lot of sick days and I still graduated so that's saying something right?

Well, anyway, I have five more days of this meds combo, since this is a really bad break out. Derma observed that there are a lot more cases like me nowadays. It must be the climate change. Ho-hum.

I think I'm going to take a nap now. I hope G doesn't mind. Hihihi.

Freedom and letting go

From the teachings of Ajahn Chah:

If you let go a little, you will have a little happiness.
If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of happiness.
If you let go completely, you will be free.

First Person Demonstrative (I don't know who wrote this)

First Person Demonstrative

I'd rather
Eat half a brick than say
I love you though I do

I'd rather
Crawl in a hole than call you
Darling, though you are

I'd rather
Wrench-off an arm than hug you
Though it's what I long to do

I'd rather
gather a posy of poison ivy than ask
If you love me

So if my hair stands on its end
It's because I never brush it

And if my heart isn't in my mouth
It's because it knows its place

And if I don't whisper in your ear
It's because gristle gripes my guts

And if you miss the message
Better get new glasses
And read this twice.

Masaya Ka!

Once again, I don't know who the author is.


Masaya Ka!

Akala mo siguro iniisip pa rin kita,
                            pinapangarap...
                         pinagpupuyatan...
                      hinahanap-hanap...
                               Hindi na, hoy!

Kahit pa alam kong maganda ka,
                                    matalino...
                                       mabait...
                                  mayaman...
                           'Di bale na lang.

Tama na yung naging kaibigan kita,
                                     nakasama...
                                      biniru-biro...
                                   nahawakan...
                               kuntento na 'ko.

Pero kung sakaling magising ka isang araw...
Umiba ang ihip ng hangin...
Subukan mo...

Baka sakaling ako'y nagdarasal pa rin,
                                        naghihintay...
                                             umaasa...
                                     nagmamahal...
                                       Ewan ko lang.*

______________________
*Seriously, in this line, I hear Hisoka's voice in the Tagalog-dubbed version of Hunter X Hunter.