Buwan

no matter how hard i try to deny it, mushiness is pretty much a big part of my disposition :-D

 Buwan - Wickermoss

Sa aking pag-gising, pangarap kang makita
Pagpintig ng puso mayroong kaba
Di ko mailihim, ningning sa aking mata
Balang araw, ako'y umaasa

Ika'y makapiling
Sabay ng dalangin at
Pagbilog ng buwan

Paglipas ng araw, pangarap ko'y ganap
Ako'y iyung nasa isip, ako'y hanap-hanap
Di raw panaginip, sa isang iglap
Magkasama tayo, sa alapaap

Hawak kamay at
Sabay humahanga sa
Ganda't liwanag ng buwan

Masdan mo giliw, langit sa piling mo
Mundo'y gumaganda, bawat hinga'y laan sa 'yo
Sa bawat ihip, at bulong ng hangin ay
Mundo'y iikot lang, sa iyo


Dahil sa pagsubok, lahat ba'y may hangganan
Pag di inukol, walang hahantungan
Hayaan na lang isipin, hayaang maghangad
Mugto ang matang hawak ko, tangi mong larawan

Habang ako ay
Mag-isang nakatanaw
Sa pag-luha ng buwan

Lyrics | Wickermoss lyrics - Buwan lyrics

Some things you may or may not know about me

Doodie is not perfect.
She makes you laugh when you're all set to being depressed.
She eggs you on when you're getting angry.
She laughs at you when you humiliate yourself.
She ignores you when you desperately need her attention.
She's never there for you.
She's lazy and tardy and selfish and conceited and a stuck-up snob.
She never listens when you're talking.
She looks through you, not at you.
She'll eat all your food when you're not looking.
She'll kick you if you do or say something to irritate her.
She'll stick her tongue out at you when you're in the middle of a really tough recitation.
She's irresponsible and utterly undependable.
She'll take advantage of you if you're not careful.
Her smile is always the most angelic when she's done something particularly devious.
Her eyes start twinkling when she's going to be mean.
She's happiest when she has completely ruined somebody's day.

I'm not sure if the person who wrote this should still be my friend.  Joke!

*taken from my BSBAA yearbook

I sometimes forget

that being a free spirit doesn't mean that I have to be a ditz.

The Tale of Love and Madness - i don't know who wrote this either

The Tale of Love and Madness

A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it for the first time, virtues and vices floated around and were bored, not knowing what to do.

One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered together and were more bored than ever. Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea: "Let's play hide and seek!"

All of them liked the idea and immediately Madness shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!" And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the others agreed. Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: "One, two, three..."

As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding. Tenderness hung itself on the horn of  the moon, Treason hid in a pile of garbage.

Fondness curled up between the clouds and Passion went to the center of the earth. Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake, whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up breaking. And Madness continued to count: "... seventy nine, eighty, eighty one..."

By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden - except Love. For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide Love.

Madness: "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven..." Just when Madness got to one hundred, Love jumped into a rose bush where he hid.

And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming, I'm coming!"

As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found, because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the center of the earth. One by one, Madness found them all - except Love.

Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love. Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: "You only need to find Love, and Love is hiding in the rose bush."

Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rose bush. Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him stop. Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his hands. Between his fingers ran two trickles of blood from his eyes.

Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love's eyes with a pitch fork. "What have I done! What have I done!" Madness shouted. "I have left you blind! How can I repair it?"

And Love answered: "You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do something for me, you can be my guide."

And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always accompanied by Madness.

Pre-valentine mush

 From some long ago forwarded email, I don't know who wrote this:


My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady
nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad
shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would
have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving
him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a
relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a
little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite,
his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic
moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love. One day, I
finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

"Why?" he asked, shocked.  "I am tired, there are no reasons for
everything in the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a
lighted cigarette at all times.

My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't
even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him?

And finally he asked me:" What can I do to change your mind?"
Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality,
and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : "Here is the question,
if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let's
say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we
both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you
do it for me?"

He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just
sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper
with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining
table near the front door, that goes....

My dear,

"I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain
the reasons further.."

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs,
and you cry in front of the screen, I have to saved my fingers so that
I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to
rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to
save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches
every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in
your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by
infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and
stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for
your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help
to clip your nails,and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I
can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy
the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the colour of
flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you
more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting...
and as I conntinue on reading...

"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied,
please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your
favorite bread and fresh milk...

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching
tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does,
and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of
excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies
in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has
never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. .
flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface
of the relationship.
Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... and that's our
life... Love, not words win arguments...


Anonymous *

up to my old tricks

just a few quick thoughts before I disconnect and retreat from the real world...

1.  It bugs me that you always expect me to make the first move

2.  It bugs me that I make the first move anyway, knowing #1 above

3.  It bugs me more that after all the moves have been made, I end up feeling sorry for myself.

Typical addict behavior. pfft.

must.go.into.rehab.again.

Tsk tsk... I hope he recovers fully...

Photo from http://suansuantiantian.net/

From the F1 website

     "Renault race driver Robert Kubica looks set to miss part - if not all - of the 2011 Formula One season after suffering multiple fractures to his right arm, leg and hand in a high-speed accident on Sunday, while competing in the Ronde di Andora Rally in Italy.

Kubica, who regularly combines rallying events with his F1 career, was airlifted from the scene of the crash and underwent lengthy surgery at the Santa Corona Hospital in Pietra Ligure, with most attention focused on his heavily injured hand. His co-driver Jakub Gerber was unhurt.

Reports suggest that Kubica lost control of his Skoda Fabia on damp roads and hit a wall during Sunday’s opening stage. The car is then understood to have impacted with a barrier, which pierced its footwell.

Following seven hours of surgery, doctors were reasonably satisfied with the way the operation went and Kubica’s condition was described as stable but serious. After the procedure he was placed into an induced coma and could be woken up on Monday morning." Read more here

I wonder who Lotus Renault will get to replace him.

unloading

A lot happened this week:

Our neighbor died after several years of fighting cancer leaving behind one daughter who will turn 21 this February.

J proposed to the girlfriend. At long last!  (I'm still processing how I feel about this one.)

At the start of the week (meaning last Saturday), my scaled showed that I lost 4 pounds.  As of today, I gained the 4 lbs back and an extra one.

Internet disruption.

Internet disruption.

Internet disruption.

Lunches with the boss and the officemates.

A friendship that's fading.  And it appears that I'm the only one willing to make the effort to make it work.

Oatmeal diet. Again!


Finished my january reading list.  (Fully booked, bakit antagal ng mga paperback release?)


Anyway, because I'm mabagal to upload, pictures I took two weeks ago.

This was a very lazy weekend even for me.  Skipped a lunch meeting with my high school friends, no familial obligations, no relatives dropping by the house, no emergency grocery runs.  I ended up vegetating in front of the tv, catching up on my reading and sleeping the weekend away. JOY!

The only downside is now I'm wide awake.

A while ago, my dad was asking na naman what I plan to do with my life...I seem to remember L and I having this conversation via ym in the not so distant past...Hmmm...well, my dad doesn't really get on my case as L's dad and brother do, but still, it's kind of, I don't know what's the word.

The thing is, my dad does have a point, I do have a job with relatively good pay, but I'm still living in his house, eating his food, and I'm not averse to having my parents pay for my stuff. Hehe. Sure I contribute to household expenses but it such a little thing really.  L's family is wealthy and if our dads our worried about about our ability to support ourselves and maintain the standard of living we're used to, then I guess there must be something there.  We're probably not as wealthy as L's family is, but then again my tastes aren't as expensive so I guess quits lang.  At least we're comfortable, and we can buy what we want. On another note about the family bonding thing, my mom has been making clucking noises at my currently dateless state. But at least she's not yet trotting out her kumare's sons, nephews and neighbors.  Hahaha!

Yes, valentine's is just around the corner and no I'm not seeing anyone.  Do I really need to have a date on valentine's? I mean seriously...Ok, it's too early to be ranting about this one.

Never leave home without looking presentable! Hahaha! I usually subscribe to this, but I made an exemption this morning.  I woke up at 10am after a late night.  I was assigned to do a quick grocery run for eggs, bread and of course, ice cream.  So I went to Rob Supermarket near Blue Wave Marquinton.  I was dressed in denim pedal pushers  (hugged my butt, hihihi), a peach and white Gap shirt that had a small tear on the neckline, and silver (silver!) ballet flats.  Got the eggs and the bread, I was by the freezers choosing ice cream when who do I see?!! Si Jonathan P.!!! I super had a crush on him when I was in high school...Typical freshman girl having a crush on the senior guy. Hahaha.  So there I was in my whatever-get-up, hair in a messy bun (and I'm sorry to say, last night's eyeliner), and J looks at me and smiles. Aaargh! Cute pa rin sya until now, kahit medyo may daddy effect na sya (with the slightly receding hairline).  But still! Yun lang. No words were exchanged since we don't exactly know each other.

Haay nako! LOL!

On another note, I'm sure this is the gazillionth 2nd chance that I've given to you, I'm not sure if I should even wait for an explanation. You'd better have one. But as of now, it's really friendship on hold sweetie. Kthanksbye.

There's nothing like a bracing conversation with a good friend to put things into their proper perspective.

So, I've been ranting to E about my recent heartache...and we got to talking about past relationships and the stuff that made us so happy when we were young and what we'd change and stuff like that.  Should have been a serious conversation but it degenerated into us trying to outdo each other with hilarious and outrageous stuff we'd like to do or would have liked to do if given the chance.

Anyway, I digress.  I was complaining about not getting the guy...and E said, "Seriously, if you put a little more effort into it and not treated it like a game, maybe we wouldn't be having this conversation now."

I'm like "You're right. I treat it like a game. I'm way too willing to give up on guys I like, or I match them up with some of my friends, who are so not deserving! (Sorry, I was ranting...and entitled to be a bitch.) But, it's so ingrained in me now.  I honestly don't know if I even know how to handle a relationship!  You know what? Now that I think about it. I'm not sure I even know how to start a relationship, much less be in one!"

E laughed like the wise woman (witch!) she is and said, "Honestly, you're so afraid of commitment, I don't get it.  You're so ready for a long-term relationship!"

"It's not that I'm not afraid exactly.  It's just that I'm extra-cautious.  Ok, that's exactly what you meant!"

E: "You are so afraid! You keep everyone at a distance.  The boys don't notice because you treat them all like friends.  They don't realize the friendliness is part of your defenses to keep everything from moving to a more personal level."

"I'm sure there are some men out there who would be smart enough to see through that and be brave enough to fight through the friendly vibes.  Besides, isn't it better to be friends first?"

"Ok, being friends first is...an ideal.  Here's my question: Would you recognize or realize it if a guy was trying to be more than friends?"

I had no answer.

E continued "I just think that you should be more open.  You're so deep into your own world (I sound so autistic/self-absorbed with this description!) maybe you don't realize it. Maybe you're not seeing the good guys around you. Admittedly, toot-toot totally should be shot the jerk!  And you've totally moved on, unfortunately, maybe you just moved on a little uhm too far away?"

"Great! Clearly, I have no idea...OMG, I am so screwed!"

E's parting remark: "That will be 2000 pesos for the therapy.  Advice is free."

Love you E!

Goodbye to you

Coz you are such a dolt!






Goodbye to You
By: Michelle Branch

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears from behind my eyes but I do not cry
Counting the days pass me by

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearin' are starting to get old
It feels like I'm startin' all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold onto

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closin' my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right, ahh

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And it hurts to want everything
And nothin' at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you but I'm not givin' in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold onto

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold onto
The one thing that I tried to hold onto

One thing that I tried to hold onto
And when the stars fall I will lie awake
You're my shooting star