Laws on Courtship

I found this really old book (pamphlet) in my sister's stuff.  It's an interesting read, which I totally relate to despite being out of college since 2003.  I like this chapter:


Lesson 23 -- Laws on Courtship (From "It's a Jungle Out There" by Heinz Carlo Bulos)

Art. 143. Falling in love, when.  There is prima facie evidence that a person is in love if the following conditions occur:

1. the person cannot concentrate during his/her daily tasks
2. the person frequently conjures up images of the other party
3. the person does mushy things
4. the person gets titillated just by seeing or talking to the other party.

     However, it is conclusively presumed that a person is truly in love if he is willing to pay a sum certain in money of approximately five hundred pesos on a date. (Me: Well, this was the 90s. Hehe)

Art. 144. Burden of proof, on whom.  If a man initiates courtship and declares his love to a woman, the woman has the option to seek evidence, in which case, the burden of proof is on the man.

Art. 145. Warranty. Every male suitor courting a female prospect warrants that:

1. his intentions are genuine
2. he is deserving and worthy of the woman's love
3. he has capacity to court
4. he has knowledge of the responsibilities that go with a relationship

Art. 146. Bridge in case of need.  A bridge in case of need is any person who is a mutual friend of both parties, who is contracted by the male party to say nice things about him to the female party and to nudge her to accept the offer of love.

Art. 147. Indorsements, how made.  Any matchmaker may indorse a friend to another by teasing them, arranging a date or warning them of potential singlehood and celibacy.

Art. 148. Courting, how to.  Any form of courtship may be practised by the contracting parties as they may deem convenient, provided they are not contrary to law, morals, good custom, public order and public policy.

Art. 149. Rejection, when allowed.  The female party may turn down the proposal of the male party if the said person is one of the following:

1. an unemancipated minor
2. an insane or demented person
3. a fictitious person
4. if the woman's suitor and the suitor of someone else are one and the same
5. the person acted in bad faith
6. the person is not your type

Art. 150. Proposals, when valid.  Proposals accepted during a lucid interval are valid.  Proposals agreed to in a state of drunkenness or during a hypnotic spell are dirty tricks of desperate suitors and are voidable.

Art. 151. Consent, when voidable.  Consent made by the female party given through mistake, violence, intimidation, undue influence or fraud is voidable.

Art. 152. Presentment, how made. A male party makes presentment of love by expressly stating that he will climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest sea, cross the widest desert, and reach the moon.

     Presentment can also be implied when the suitor actually climbed Mt. Everest, swam across the Pacific Ocean, travelled through the Sahara Desert and is a NASA astronaut.

Art. 153. Dishonor by non-acceptance, when.  A suitor is dishonored by non-acceptance when the female party dumps him.

Art. 154. Moral damages.  A male party, after being rejected, may suffer moral damages which include physical suffering, mental anguish, fright, serious anxiety, besmirched reputation, wounded feelings, moral shock, social humiliation and similar injury.

Art. 155.  Liability of female party.  The female party who busted the male party is not rendered liable for any damages or loss if she rejected the male suitor in good faith.

     In cases of bad faith, as when she expressly or impliedly caused the male party to have vain hope or expectancy, she is simply leading him on and is liable to make an apology and quickly clarify matters.

Art. 156. Commitment.  A commitment is a meeting of minds between two persons where one binds himself, with respect to the other, to love, give and share.

Art. 157. Care.  The man, during the course of the relationship, is expected to take care of the woman with the proper diligence of a good father of a family, a good husband to a wife and a good pal to a friend.