Sofitel poolside

For New Year, JM decided to treat us to a dinner at the Sofitel buffet. Sofitel recently suffered damage from flooding and most of the damage was to the poolside and Spirals (the restaurant where the buffet is). So they've temporarily transferred the buffet to the lobby.

Ok, so I don't have pictures of the actual buffet and the food I ate because, you know, once I've got food in front of me, that's the only thing on my mind. Hahaha. I think we got pictures AFTER eating, but that's with JM's camera.

While waiting for the buffet to open, we were able to stroll a bit around the poolside. It's amazing what great landscaping can do. There was no sign of any flood damage to the poolside. Well, anyway, I only got pictures of the red light tree.

You are proof that God loves me

Ma'am C gave me this waving flower for Christmas. It has a solar powered battery thing so I placed it by my window.

My window gets the morning sun so when I arrive at the office the flower is waving and bobbing merrily like the sunflowers in Plants vs. Zombies. And by the time I go home, my window is already in shadow from the trees and building next to ours, so the flower no longer waves. It's like a signal to end the workday. Hahaha!

It's just too bad that my window is to my back so I don't really see the flower. But I hope everyone who comes into our room is cheered up by it.

Dusk in Quezon Avenue

December 2, 2011

Er and I were waiting for En and we decided to park at BPI along Quezon Avenue. It had been a rainy day and even though it was not yet 5pm, it was already quite dark.

I'm not sure what I was taking a photo of, but it's a good bet it was the sky. I like taking pictures of the sky.

in preparation for the new year: resolutions

In line with simplifying a lot of things in my life, I'm just going to stick with two goals for 2012.

1) Be happy.
2) Be content.

(Because "Stay hungry, stay foolish" is already overused, no?)

Not happy with Santa

Ayan! Kanta kasi ng kanta ng "All I want for Christmas is You"

Wala tuloy napala. Kaunting gifts lang, wala pang you.

Weh.

in preparation for the new year: taking stock

It's right about that time of year when people take stock (ok, most people take stock) and make lists of their bests, worsts, favorites, least favorites of the year. I don't do that and I won't start doing it now, well, the  "making lists" part anyway.

2011 was ...(stares blankly at the screen for several seconds)

I don't think I'm going to find a SINGLE word to encompass 2011 except maybe,  hmm, 2011. (hahahah!) But, I'm still going to try....alphabetically, and I'll try really hard to be super positive.

2011 was (all about) ...

Adventurous -- went on several trips this year. The highlight of which was the impromptu trip to Sydney, Australia with E. (I cannot promise a blog entry on it, but it's on my hope-I-get-around-to-it list.) Plus, the QC adventure club with R, L, I, E, G, and whoever else we can invite.

Breakups -- spent a lot of time listening to friends' sob/rage stories about their respective break-ups. Makes me wonder how I'll be if I ever get around to having a relationship. On the positive side, they are all fine and recovering well, I think.

Chilly -- No love life! Hahaha!

Decisive -- took positive steps with respect to what is good for me and what's not. Learning to say "No".

Efficient -- career-wise, the year has been great. Cleared the backlog in my office and now we are well ahead of schedule. Worked out a system with the boss to help us all manage our case load better.

Financial responsibility -- controlled spending. Started a time deposit. Continued my SSS contributions. How's that for someone on a government salary?! Not as wealthy as if I had continued in private practice, but at least I go home at 4:30pm. Hahaha!

Growth -- emotional - check, physical - uhm, check. Serious poundage has been added. Hmmm, maybe I can just pretend to be pregnant. As to the emotional side, yes I'm still as emotional as ever but I've learnt a little restraint when it comes to letting my emotions run free. Hello, repression! Hahaha.

Honesty -- no more lying to self...other people, fine. (-__-)

Indifference -- sometime in the second quarter of the year, I just stopped caring about current events. I no longer read the papers. What I know of current events are mostly from twitter, and snippets I see or hear on tv or on the radio. I don't even read the funnies anymore.

Jogging -- well, I wanted to. I even got the shoes.

Koko Krunch -- rediscovered the joys of munching on this chocolate cereal. Probably part of the reason for the excess weight. Hehehe.

Love life -- absent. See entry for C. hahaha. Good thing I have family and friends who love me.

Maturity -- does being mature include not eating that last slice of cake? If yes, then I've gained maturity. (If being able to follow a diet is a sign of maturity, then I'm not yet mature.) Hahaha. And  people don't mistake me for a high-schooler anymore. I file my bank statements, pay my taxes and my credit card bills. I don't throw a tantrum when I don't get what I want. Hooray for me!

Nephilim -- read a lot of angel and nephilim books this year. Bestsellers and YA. Hahaha!

Orange -- My sister gave me a Body Shop Natural Lip Roll-On with an orange flavor. It's a lip moisturizer/gloss. I love it and I use it everyday. Super yummy.

Playdom -- well, Gardens of Time, actually. I used to play this for hours on end when I started. I've stabilized now and play maybe 9-10 hours a week. Replaced my Plants vs. Zombies addiction.

Quilting -- yeah, right! I just can't think of anything related to me that starts with a Q.

RTH -- road to hotness project with R, L, I and E. I'm sometimes compliant, more often not. But it's a goal that's concrete, attainable and... I should have another word there but can't think of it right now.

Stories -- in my head, about other people, about my life. It's why I started doing this thing (i don't think this qualifies as a blog) in the first place. It's mostly fiction anyway.

Toughness -- saying "No". Staying calm even when others are unfair. Not saying anything when it would just hurt someone. I was really tough on my inner bitch as well as on my inner (spoiled) child. Net effect = neurotic needy bitch. I'm not doing this again. Hehehe.

Understanding -- that family is difficult and you make the best of it. Even when I don't want to anymore.

Voice -- started singing again. Oh joy.

Writing -- my first novel. Uh, no! I am too lazy already. I think my writing job has taken it's toll on me. Doesn't matter that I'm writing on completely different subjects. Sometimes, I read what I've written and I think, "wow! this is as dry as a codal". There goes my plan to annotate the Tax Code. Hahaha!

X-rated -- I wish. Hahaha!

You -- but I'm moving on now.

Zen - Yep, it was all about finding my inner peace. The latter part of the year was spent trying to live my life as calmly and serenely as possible. Did it in real life and I hope I can continue it, but can't really avoid all the drama in my head. Hence, the continuing emo crap in blog entries. (There go the supposed positive inner language.) Hahaha!

Well, after some work I finally did this alphabetical thing (whose shit idea was this anyway?). Should have just said 2011 was great and been done with it.

And what is this if not a list? Huh?!

in preparation for the new year: saying goodbye

I'm glad to announce that I no longer get hurt when you don't talk to me. It happened last night. At first, I wasn't sure what had changed. Then I realized there was just this glorious lack of feeling. I looked closer, I closed my eyes. Yep, not even a twinge to mark the moment.

And while it's sad that our friendship had to come to this, or end like this, it does make some sort of sense. Ours was one of convenience, mostly yours. And though you have always been the nice guy, and I was the dreamy and romantic girl, you were really quite brutal, that one time when you had to make a choice.

But we recovered from that. And we became friends again. Again, it's not working. Maybe it never worked because it was and has only ever been me.

But I think I should also thank you. I'm not going to have a long drawn out internal battle to continue waiting for you. Your one-two technique was quite effective that I never went through the rage of hating you. Your gradual disappearance simply led me into this state of indifference where it doesn't matter if you talk to me or not. It was gradual. Unnoticeable at first. Inexorable.

What I've been doing

So this has been one crazy December. Coming off a two-week vacation at the end of November, I entered December in a really good, but admittedly lazy, mindset.

The family put  up the Christmas tree while I was gone. It collapsed the second day I was back, prompting me to declare that "Christmas is cancelled!" It's my inner scrooge. Hehehe. We put the Christmas tree back up.

Beginning December, I didn't mind that Christmas and New Year would fall on weekends. I felt complacent since I'd done the bulk of my gift shopping in October. (How's that for being a responsible adult? Ha!) I left out buying anything for the office so I had to rush that on the second December weekend.

Oh! My birthday! Well, I got my license renewed, went to the office, had dinner with En and Er. It was a great dinner, except that I wasn't feeling so great by dessert time. I was distinctly queasy and asked to cut short the dinner. En drove me home and I threw up in the car. (Ewwww) Well, not in the car car, but in a tissue box while in the car. Hahaha!

Spent the rest of Friday night and early Saturday morning kneeling before the white throne. Slept the whole day. Watched the azkals game on TV. Started manifesting a fever at about 6pm until my temperature peaked at 38.6C. Woke up on Sunday with no other symptoms except for lack of appetite. (My sister started her stomach bug a few hours earlier, and my brother fully developed the flu). Happy birthday to me! We had lechon and cake. (Though I wasn't able to eat much.)

Then the slew of birthday lunches and dinners and christmas get-togethers. I'm tired and my wallet is tired and my credit card is peeling. Hehehe. There were a couple of disappointments regarding my birthday, though, but I guess you really can't have it all. (But, we could've had it all!!!!!)

M offered to drive me home but I said no. I hope he doesn't take it as a "I'm not interested." It's just that that was a bad time since K and I had other plans that night. So, M, let's try it again, okay?

The office Christmas party. Gifts. Lots of food and christmas goodies. To hell with RTH. I'll just put it in my 2012 resolutions.

Anyway, I've got two more working days until the Christmas/weekend. Another 4 working days until New Year/weekend. And bam! its 2012!

I can already tell it's going to be a great 2012. Why do I know this? Because first day back at work, January 2, I'd be leading the flag ceremony at the office. Oh dear.

Random Thoughts on R

Dear R,

I just found out that you and your girlfriend are no longer together. I don't know the why and how though I have a general idea of the when. I'm sad for you, well, sort of. In the same way that, I guess, I wasn't really sad that you and she got together in the first place.

You were like the Ryan Gosling of my law school days. Someone I really liked but never did anything about. The guilty pleasure. The secret love though I knew it would never come to anything.

You were this really cute Chinese guy, sensitive, smart and macho. Ok, maybe the macho part is stretching things a bit. A lot. Hahaha! Lanky body. Dry sense of humor (though terrible taste in games when it comes to party games). You get really red when you drink. Your nose gets really red when you have a cold. I love your gold-rimmed glasses.

I like the fact that you are so passionate about your beliefs and your convictions. I could probably listen to you (and read) when you are discoursing on politics and economy and current events. I'd probably just take the side against yours just to get you riled up. But I admire you for your convictions.

I remember wanting to sit beside you in class, but since I was an junior joining your sophomore class, you already had your seating arrangement down pat. It was probably better that I didn't sit beside you, I didn't want to take that class for a third time. Hahaha!

You were always nice to me. Though I was never popular, always on the fringes, you saw me and acknowledged me. And talked to me when we both weren't in a hurry as was usual in law school. Aside from those classes together and random conversations, we never really had any interaction. And after law school, I lost track of you. Nevermind facebook.

Though you did bring me my dinner once when I was taking the bar. Hahaha! And I did see you once in Makati, you were heading toward the gym at that time and you smiled at me and asked me how I was and where I worked.

Well, anyway, I hope you're fine, though the word doesn't even begin to encompass all the blessings I wish for you.


I wish I could be your friend,
D

Maybe I don't give a fuck anymore

I'm not sure if I'm dealing well with life these days or I just don't give a fuck anymore."

I think I saw this on pinterest, or some other quotes site. Anyway, this has been SOOOOO TRUE lately.
Seriously.

The shortest horror story

 http://9gag.com/gag/991014

Chills up and down my spine...reminds me of some of M. Night's movies.

comfortable like a virtual arm around me

how our conversations that may be weeks apart feel like we're just picking up after a short pause

as comfortable a silence as when we both smile and take a sip of our coffee

like the infinite possibilities that make your skin tingle in those endless hours between midnight and dawn

compressed in those final moments when you begin to see the first purple touches in the sky

forever's never gonna happen

somewhere between the tedium of our now and the anticipated euphoria of forever, you lost me.

or i lost myself.

it doesn't matter.

it all means the same thing.

i lost you too.

(and i like tempting fate, so I'm saying never!)

LTO Marikina adventure

I had to renew my driver's license and instead of going to an LTO office at a mall, I decided to go to LTO in Marikina since I could get there before 8am with no hassle.

Remembering that I needed a drug and medical test, I was at LTO Marikina at around 7am. I asked around where I could have the tests done and one LTO public assistance person led me (and I placidly followed, hahaha, despite all instructions not to go with strangers when I was a kid) to a small building across the street. It was a seedy and cramped building with slightly questionable stairs and fire safety. (I prayed that I wasn't being led somewhere where I would be sold into slavery or something). The second floor turned out to have a small drug test facility by the name of Drugcheck Philippines, Inc. The people there were friendly. But seriously, the place was cramped, and since I was the 5th person there (and the only girl!), I had misgivings. Hahaha! Anyway, finally a girl staff (well, sort of girl, because she was clearly a tomboy) arrived and made me slightly less uncomfortable (the next lady customer wouldn't arrive until I was finished filling out the forms and waiting for my turn at biometrics). Thankfully, the lab had okay and clean facilities for collecting the sample. Ms. Jackie (or Kuya Jackie) even made the effort to clean out the toilet before it was my turn. I was done with the drug test by 7:40am and was directed to get my medical test at another clinic down the road.

The clinic was another seedy and cramped place, located in a small alley just two corners away from LTO Marikina. It was near all the shops that provided TPL and other insurance. I was informed that the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8:30am. The first four guys before me at the drug test were also at the clinic. Hahaha. I didn't make friends because I wasn't in the mood. Good thing that the place had pretty decent airconditioning.

And oh my god, I'm already 51 kilos. Anyway, once the doctor arrived, she was all business. I was out of the clinic by 8:40am and at LTO for what I hoped would be a quick renewal.

As usual, as I neared LTO Marikina, the fixers started approaching me and saying they could have me out of there in less than hour. Since it was early yet and I believe in eliminating corruption and red tape, I refused any offers for help and went into LTO. There weren't a lot of people there yet, mostly those registering vehicles and applying for student permits.

I filled out my forms and got number 22 on the queue. The number didn't really matter since I was immediately directed to Window 1 to have my picture taken and signature captured. Go to Window 2 to submit documents. Sit near Window 8 (Cashier) and waited for my name to be called to pay the fee. Once paid, go back to Window 1 to submit documents and receipts. Go to Window 4 to wait for the actual license to be released.

It felt like forever, but I was actually out of LTO Marikina by 9:30ish and I was at the office by 10am.

Drug test-P300.00
Medical test-P100.00
Renewal-P417.50

Another successful adventure-priceless.

Happy birthday to me!

you again

Sometimes I get so excited expecting something. so sure that something's there. then the day comes and pfft...nada nothing zip zilch.

Managing expectations sounds like a good plan.

I wonder if managing expectations equals having no expectations when it comes to you?