sort of happiness

had a happy day today, even though I got called in class. feel like I'm getting the hang of things. sort of caught up with all the things I have to do.

I'm not looking forward to the next couple of weeks. seems like my calendar is full of red marks (for deadlines) in addition to all that I have to do just to keep up with my reading assignments.

I'm glad it's the weekend. love lazing about, and rainy days and nights just complete the picture. will get around to drafting all my memos next week.

craving ice cream.

struggle

have a lot of work ahead of me. already seriously thinking of giving everything up. got my priorities in my head, though my priorities might not exactly be what other people think should be prioritized. but what do I care? (actually, I do care about what people think of me) been having a hard time adjusting. plus the fact that I don't particularly want to.

attended a party last night, got roaring drunk and almost embarrassed myself completely over this guy. sure, I embarrassed myself but not entirely. not fooling myself that the guy will forget what I did, but am wishing that everything is as fuzzy to him as it is to me. bwahahaha!!!

course, it also helps that I don't really know him, and probably won't get a chance to "explore our friendship more".

this stupidity was the result of my realizing that I've been betting on the wrong horse all along. but then better late than never is what they always say. though personally, I think it's better to be "never done that" to "shouldn't have done that"

just made a couple of new friends today. not bad for someone who's not really excited about the future. I had the thought that if I could just get through the next week, and week after next and the next and so on, I could probably get through the rest of my life. of course, I really can't say what the state of my mind will be by then, but most people probably won't notice the difference since I'm almost crazy now...or I've gone completely crazy without my realizing it.

hate the thought that I will actually have to work hard now for something I don't enjoy. I'm still in denial, procrastinating and generally still not getting anything done.

spent quality time with a friend today. or more like wasted a couple of hours with a friend today. just talking and hanging out, listening to music...stuff I really like. maybe got a few minutes of studying in...

start of something

today, I started something I don't particularly like. something that I have been dreading since I entered law school. it's something that I'm not sure I'll even finish. but I have to finish if I want to get something accomplished.

cryptic. I love it. yesterday, I spent a few moments with this person I really like, well, maybe sort of like. it's different now that we're back to the being from different year levels. we're not so much friends as mere acquaintances. bwahaha. of course, I know that he's already off limits.